Heartsick
by Spifiliator
Summary: FFIV--I am not nuts on the title, but I couldn't think of anything else! Still I hope you enjoy this mini romantic drama set in the Sealed Cave.


**Heartsick**

(This title will work for now, though I don't really like it. Actually, I wanted to call this "Rosa Shoulda Had a V8" but I wasn't sure if anyone would get it. Besides, it's not like FFIV characters are toting around drinkable tomato juice as they quest!)

"Good evening, lovely ladies!" Edge executed an over-exaggerated bow while simulataneously balancing two full dinner plates. "If you please, direct from King Giott's finest chefs, delicately crafted to sustain us on our journey through the Sealed Cave..."

He paused for effect.

"TA DA! I present to you more delectable d_warven travel rations!_"

Rosa accepted her plate, and almost thanked Edge for this rare display of, well, kindness. As usual though, she ended up swatting at him with a napkin when he tried to further impress her with his charms.

Feigning hurt in Rosa's direction, he turned to Rydia and resumed his suave demeanor. "For you, pretty one." Upon presenting her dinner into one hand, Edge quickly snatched her other. "Ha ha!" He flashed Rosa a triumphant glare. Looking back at Rydia he complimented, "My lady," then bestowed a surprisingly gentle kiss to the back of her hand. With a wink and a sly, victorious smile he made his exit.

As Edge made his way back to the campfire a bewildered Rydia tried desperately hide her mortification. _Keep your head down, keep it down!_ She repeated this phrase to herself over and over. _No one needs to see this!_ Gradually embarrassment faded to anger. _By Odin, I hate it when he does that...he actually caught me off guard!_

Ironically, the shift to irritation had calmed her down. She lifted her head only to see Edge leaning over the fire to serve himself a plate of food. His cape had fallen aside exposing the appealing round muscularity of his lower body. _Guess I wasn't over it after all!_ Her blush returned in a flash, and she returned her focus back to her plate.

_I should try to eat, try to look normal. _But the food, though pleasingly aromatic and rather aesthetically served, was no longer appetizing. Rydia picked aimlessly at the pieces on her plate, yet she couldn't bring herself to ingest any of it. Her stomach was a wreck.

By the time Rosa finished eating Rydia had given up. She sat nearby, slightly flushed and absentmindedly rubbing her abdomen. "Are you all right?" Rosa questioned. When she received no answer, she placed a hand on Rydia's shoulder. "Rydia, are you okay? You've hardly touched your _delectable dwarven travel rations_."

Rosa' immitation of Edge was lost on Rydia. Startled, she stuttered over her response. "I…uh," She shook her head slightly. "I'm fine. Just overtired I guess." She motioned toward the tent she and Rosa shared. "If you don't mind, I think I am going to turn in early."

"Here, let me take care of your plate." Rydia handed her full dish to Rosa. "Go on to bed, and I'll come to check in on you later. If you're getting sick, I want to be sure I cast the proper healing spells on you tonight so you feel better by morning."

Gratefully, Rydia stood. About to head for the tent, she stopped and addressed Rosa, "One thing, Rosa. Could you sort of hide that I didn't finish dinner? I don't want anyone to worry. And it was random but nice of Edge to serve us. I don't want to hurt his feelings." Still holding her stomach, Rydia walked away. Rosa watched her, concerned, until she reached the tent and began fiddling with its pesky zipper.

_Aye! I keep meaning to fix that._ Talking to herself, Rosa began spooning Rydia's untouched food onto her own empty plate. _The next thing I know that tent flap will morph into one of those wacko monster doors. It'll assault me next time I want to go to bed!_

Her thoughts turned toward her ladling activities. _What an odd request_. Of all of her traveling companions, Edge would be least likely to notice someone else's unfinished plate. _He's too self-centered for that, and I'm certain Rydia knows this too. My, she must really not be feeling well tonight if she's that worried about HIS feelings!_

***

Deep in thought, Rosa missed the approaching figure. A shadow fell over her, and she lifted her eyes to see who blocked the firelight. "Is there room for two on your rock?" Cecil grinned as he invited himself onto her perch. Cheerfully she squeezed herself aside to make room for him, and the two of them sat in silence as he ate, just enjoying the closeness. Rosa leaned into his warm, armor-less body, and without thinking, she rested her head in the not-quite-armpit-but-still-squishy part between his arm and chest. Though still worrying about Rydia, she found contentment snuggling there, and when Cecil put down his plate and tightened an arm around her, she closed her eyes.

She didn't fall asleep, or more correctly, she couldn't. Within moments something, more of a feeling, disrupted her peaceful moment. She glanced discretely, through only partially opened eyes, to find the source of the disturbance. Edge sat in a far corner of the camp, engrossed in himself once more. Well, actually he was meditating, so he was only _partly_ pursuing a selfish cause. She noticed Kain, however, staring wistfully at her and Cecil. Seeing her eyes flutter and hoping not to be caught watching, Kain averted his eyes back to the flames and tried, just a little too hard, to look bored. Rosa closed her eyes again, so as not to let him know he'd been made.

_Oh dear…I just wasn't thinking! This is so unfair to him. I can't believe..OH MY!_ Insight attacked Rosa so harshly it would have been painful had it had any substance!_ Oh my stars! I can't believe I didn't see this earlier!_

Abruptly Rosa sat up, breaking contact with Cecil. Caught off guard, bereft of her warmth against him, he fought an angry reaction. After taking a deep, calming breath he turned his face toward Rosa. She sat erect, eyes wide, a rather surprised look on her face. Mind turned randomly upside down with worry, he asked, "Rosa? Rosa, are you all right? You look like you've just been struck by Ramuh's Judgment Bolt!"

He felt worlds better when her face softened and she smiled at him. _PHEW!_

"Yes, I am fine. I just…" She stopped, not yet wanting to disclose her realization, but seeing the question in his eyes, she knew she needed to make something up quickly. "I am worried about Rydia. She's not feeling well tonight and I promised her I would look in on her. I don't want to forget!"

_There, not a total lie! I can't talk about this…yet._

Cecil took one of her free hands in his and nodded understandingly. "Will you come back to the fire when you are done?" The hopeful tone to his voice nearly softened her resolve. But then she remembered Kain's sorrowful expression. She couldn't do that to her companion twice in the same night!

Apologetically she responded, "Actually I think I am going to try to get to sleep early too." She inclined her head slightly toward Kain. Comprehension dawned in Cecil's eyes, followed swiftly by a glimmer of frustration and sadness that their time together was ending.

_So beautiful, so compassionate…Gods, how I want to kiss this woman right now!_ But, remembering the company, he settled for squeezing her hand. Gratefully Rosa smiled and squeezed back. "Goodnight Cecil."

The emptiness Cecil felt when she pulled away from their cuddly position hit him again as he watched Rosa walk to the women's tent. Longingly, he thought back to more carefree times at Baron. _This used to be SO much easier_ he told himself. Uninvited memories of state dinners at the castle, one in particular, floated to the surface of his mind, and while watching her walk away, Cecil found himself looking back on the first night he had met Rosa.

_Young and already captain of the Red Wings, I enjoyed a lot of attention from a lot of women. But there was no one special. Not until Rosa anyway. I'd known her forever, but when I saw her that night, an exquisitely beautiful angel, more stunning than every decorative lantern in the great hall, everything changed. Her grace and poise took my breath away, and I was first to ask her for a dance. She did dance with me…Kain and other men too. But it was I who had the favor of the evening's last dance. The final dance was a dance so full of promise…I just remember feeling so excited, and so very, very ready to be with her again._

_As a newly apprenticed white mage, Rosa's studies kept her very busy, and I didn't see her for several weeks until the next castle affair. I danced with her again that night though. In fact, to the disappointment of the other young men at dinner, I took ALL of the dances with Rosa. She never turned down my requests, and I simply couldn't get enough of her! The close of the evening was one of the most difficult moments of my life. The music ended, we broke apart, and without her in my arms everything felt so empty. I know she felt the space between us as acutely as I did—I thought she would speak, at least say, "good night," but instead she gave me this __look__. It was clearly seductive, but there was such innocence to it…the fact she was chewing insecurely on the lower right corner of her lip while looking at me with her bright, kiss-me-eyes completely did me in. In only two evenings together I had fallen ridiculously in love with Rosa Farrell. _

Cecil looked on as Rosa managed to open the tricky tent flap. Before entering she flashed him one more absolutely stunning smile. He tried to smile back, but his heart wasn't in it. Truly dissapointed, his attempted smile looked more like a childish grimace. Rosa's own smile dwindled into a look of perplexity and, shrugging her shoulders in frustration, she entered the tent. Feeling, deflated, Cecil began gathering up used dinner plates and returned to his memories.

_There was no kiss that second evening, despite what her eyes suggested. It's not that she was a tease or anything. It was just neither the time nor place. Damn my sense of propriety! With any other girl I could have found a way to get her upstairs for some alone time. But not Rosa—for one, she lived locally in Baron with a highly overprotective mother. Plus, I really had no interest in angering the white mage community. As a military man and fellow servant to Baron, I rather needed their skills from time to time on the battlefield, thus I could not dishonor Rosa in any way. So, imagine my surprise when Rosa appeared in my tower room that evening. My mouth full of toothpaste I looked up into the mirror and there was her reflection staring back at me. I rinsed faster than I'd ever rinsed before, and suddenly she was back in my arms. It was the most incredible evening of my life…well, at least until later in our relationship when she finally let me kiss her. But still, we held onto each other like our lives depended on it. And with a final squeeze, Rosa quietly stole out of my room._

_From then on, I actually looked forward to those social evenings in the castle. Not that I hated them before or anything, but I was pretty tired of the show—an endless parade of overdressed and pompous dignitaries, scholars, and politicians. Sure the food was all right, the decorations charming, but I was in attendance for two reasons only—to honor my king and to see my love. The dancing was a joy, but it was mealtime, specifically dessert, I looked forward to the most. I was never seated next to Rosa at the dining table—she was only an apprentice and I a captain, so I was seated closer to the king. Anyway, it was customary for the young, unmarried ladies to excuse themselves before dessert—something about preserving their figures! Go figure, if you ask me! But anyway, as the ladies left the table, we would chivalrously stand. In the confusion of the moment, I could ogle Rosa unnoticed by others at the table. If her eyes found mine and she flashed me "the look" I knew dessert would not be the sweetest treat of my evening! _

_Our moments alone in the tower were fleeting; barely time for a hug, a shallow conversation, maybe, if we felt really dangerous, even a kiss. Ha! We worked to be discrete, though I think everyone in the castle knows about our secret meetings now--castle gossip and all. Still, Rosa's dignity remanins my priority. Even now our moments alone are brief, momentary rendezvous in my tower room. I want so much more, but like a lovelorn fool, I still cling hopefully to the promise of "the look" after dinner. _

_Is it enough anymore?_

_Who am I kidding? It was never enough. If it weren't for Golbez's madness I would have proposed by now—Rosa would be in my arms every night!_

Finished scouring the camp for dinnerware, Cecil abruptly shook off his wave of nostalgia before he fell any deeper into self pity. _Dirty dishes and a lunatic brother are my reality. I need to put things right, then I can be the husband Rosa deserves!_Gazing one more time at Rosa's tent, he forced himself toward their camp's meager washing station in hopes that washing dishes would accomplish something akin to a cold shower.

***

Inside her tent, Rosa puzzled over Cecil's emotional display. _What is going on with everyone's hormones tonight? This is nuts!_ _Oh well, one issue at a time..._Putting thoughts of Cecil aside for the moment, Rosa turned her attention to something she could remedy immediately--Rydia.

Rydia lay peacefully on her sleeping mat. Her eyes were closed, but Rosa could tell she wasn't asleep. For one, she continued to mindlessly run her hand across her abdomen. Disturbed by the pink in Rydia's cheeks, Rosa rested a hand on her forehead to check for fever.

_Negative_, she thought. _Now I am even more convinced! _"Rydia." She didn't respond, so Rosa tried again a little more forcefully. "Rydia, I know you are awake. I need you to talk to me for a moment. I need to know how you are feeling."

A grumpy murmur escaped Rydia's lips. "Okay, okay. I'm awake."

_And to think that just minutes ago I could have sworn she was happy I'd look out for her! _Softening her tone, Rosa asked, "So, how are you doing? Is your stomach still bothering you?"

Embarrassed, Rydia slid her hand to her side. "No, no. I don't think so. I mean, I don't feel like I am going to be ill or anything. I just feel off."

"Off? Like how? When did this start?"

"Yesterday I think." Rydia's brow furrowed in consternation as she spoke. "Or maybe it was the day before. I don't know. Since we entered this labyrinth I feel like my equilibrium has been completely thrown off. I just feel distracted and almost like I am nervous. But I am not really afraid of anything. It's completely unreasonable."

"Nervous?" _Now that's an interesting description_, thought Rosa.

"Yeah, nervous. It's like having constant butterflies in my stomach. And when I botched that spell yesterday during the battle…" Rydia's hand flew up to her mouth, and her eyes displayed nothing but guilt.

"What! What do you mean you botched it? You told me you tripped on a stray rock!"

Rydia moved the hand from her mouth up to cover her eyes. "No," she sighed, "I didn't trip. Actually I was just lucky that rock happened to be there. Kicking it out of the way almost made my lie convincing." She took a deep breath, and continued her confession. "I just felt so bad. You and Cecil were deep into healing magic spells, Kain was down, desperately in need of those spells. Edge was nowhere in sight. You were all counting on me to cover you."

Her eyes closed as she envisioned the scene more clearly. "But that thing…that slimy, snake, man-headed thing changed direction and came at me!" She shuddered violently in disgust. "It came at me, drooling and snarling. Edge slipped in and with one of his excellent ninja moves, drew the creature away from me. Did you see him break that thing's neck with his thighs? It was amazing, but I lost concentration on my spell. I felt no magic flowing. I keep picturing the scene over and over. I see what could happen if I ever falter like that again. Then I see Edge saving the day. And each time I picture the situation, the butterflies return."

_Hmm, maybe I am wrong in my diagnosis_. Suddenly Rosa felt a little more concerned. Since yesterday Rydia had seemed to be more dependent on her whip than her magic. "You don't think you're scared of using magic again do you?"

"I thought that might be the problem too, but then we got into that skirmish with those ridiculous bats this morning, and I was able to pull off a few fire spells, no trouble at all. But the butterflies haven't gone away. And tonight at dinner, they were out of control!"

Rosa giggled aloud in relief.

"What are you laughing at? I could be ill and you're laughing at me!" The indignation on Rydia's face only fueled Rosa's laughter further. Tears streaming down her face, she collapsed into her own blankets and laughed until her ribs hurt.

Rydia only grew angrier. "Rosa, knock it off. Believe me, I have working magic, and I am not afraid to nail you, my best human friend, with one juicy shot of Piggy!"

That sobered Rosa right up. _Oh my..I never really thought about it, but I am Rydia's best friend. What kind of person am I? _

She wiped her eyes and said, "Rydia, I am so sorry. I think I know what you are feeling, and I am laughing because it's kind of awkward. Bear with me, and I will try to explain. Just try to hold onto your anger a litte bit longer. I have been a pig before, and even though it's only a temporary condition, one I can easily fix, it takes weeks to get the barnyard smell out of my hair!" An involuntary shudder wracked her body as she imagined the stench of pig slop, hay, and animal waste. It took a second before Rosa could re-collect her thoughts and begin.

"Rydia, first you have to understand how strange my relationship with you is."

"What!?!"Rydia's eyes clouded in anger again, but Rosa put up a hand to ward off interruption.

"No, seriously, you need to hear me out. I love you like a sister and like a best friend. But the best friend part is new to me. The little sister, the seven-year old girl struggling to cast her level one magic, is the girl I am more familiar with. This new older Rydia in the body of a twenty-year old woman, the one I trust with my life, is someone I am still getting to know. I forget sometimes that although we are apparently the same age, we didn't grow up together. We didn't even have similar experiences. I mean, you matured with monsters! And now I have to talk to the seven-year old inside of you about something most twenty-year olds have dealt with many times. It's different for me to play the older sister and best friend roles at the same time. Do you have any idea what I mean?"

No answer, and Rosa, unsure what to say next, stalled for time while fiddling with a stray hair that had worked its way out of her hairpiece during her laughing fit. "Rydia, can I ask you a weird question?"

Rydia nodded impatiently so Rosa continued. "What was it like to grow up with monsters?"

It was not quite what she expected to hear, and Rydia pondered the question before answering, "It wasn't as hard for me as you would think. Because my gifts are similar to many monsters and because my gifts can be used to call upon their assistance, we bonded well. We attended classes together, sparred together, and became friends. Physically it was a little hard to grow up. None of my friends were experiencing the same changes as me, but even that wasn't too bad. Whyt helped me learn to communicate with my mom's spirit through her dragon, and she comforted me through the worst of my angst."

"Wow. That sounds so much easier than being a teenager up on the surface! So many emotions surrounded me and my girlfriends when we were younger it's a wonder that any of us still talk to one other. When I entered my apprenticeship my friends were so jealous and hateful. Then when Cecil, the most desirable bachelor in all of Baron took interest in me, well, it was very unpleasant. At least we all grew up, found our roles in society and moved onto other relationships. The experiences changed us somewhat, but at least we can still be civil to one another."

"That really does sound complicated, Rosa. I guess I was pretty lucky overall. I had wonderful friends, and none of that romantic or competitive stuff ever got in the way." Now it was Rydia's turn to giggle. "You know, now that I think about it, I don't even know which of my closest monster friends are male and which are female! Thankfully I never developed any monster pheromone detection skills while living in the Feymarch."

That sent both girls into fits of giggles. Anger now dissipated from the room, Rosa decided it was time to get down to the meat of the matter. "So, speaking of that romance stuff, did I imagine it or were you checking out Edge during dinner tonight?" She shot Rydia a teasing glance. "He may not always be my favorite companion, but he _does_ have an amazing backside. I think his might actually be nicer than Cecil's, but don't tell anyone I said that."

Rosa watched in triumph as color poured into Rydia's cheeks again, and her hand returned to her stomach. "Ha! I knew it!" she almost shouted.

"Knew what?" Rydia asked miserably.

"Rydia, I have good news for you. You're not sick."

"Well then what the heck is going on with my stomach? Could you stop celebrating already and get to the point?"

Matter-of-factly, Rosa replied, "You just have your first crush."

Incredulous, Rydia gaped at her friend's revelation. "You mean this is what your friends were jealous over? Nausea, facial hyperthermia, chronic uncertainty, mood swings, and just plain fear of being caught looking at something you shouldn't? Rosa, this is terrible. No wonder you felt weird talking to me about it!"

Rosa laughed. "No, it's not terrible…awkward to discuss with someone who is my age and by all means should have experienced it about nine or ten years ago. But it's definitely not terrible. Actually in any other circumstance I would be surprised that it hadn't happened sooner. Your pickings have been kind of slim."

"My pickings? What?" Rydia was obviously still in shock.

"Well, for one your hometown is in ruins, so you can't meet anyone there. And as far as your other contacts go, let's see." Rosa began counting off individuals on her fingers. "Cecil's taken. Kain's just weird. Tellah and Cid are too old and fatherly. Yang's too married. Palom's too young. Edward's too, um, emotional. King Giott is just plain too short, lali. That really leaves only one man, and, other than Cecil, at least he is the nicest to look at."

Rydia fell backwards onto her mat and covered her head with a pillow before ranting, "What am I supposed to do about this Rosa? It's pretty annoying, and it is distracting me from what we're doing here. I can't endanger all of you on the battlefield again, I just can't!"

"Well, Rydia what do _you_ want to do?"

"I don't know." A wistful sigh escaped her, and for a moment Rosa thought Rydia might cry until she added in a typical flatly sarcastic tone, "And even if I did, I wouldn't exactly know how to do it anyway!"

Rosa eyed her pal sympathetically, but inside she felt good. Rydia would be fine, and Rosa no longer needed to worry about her more than normal.

Outside, a shuffle of feet indicated that the men had retired. Cecil was walking the perimeter before settling into the first night watch shift. Edge would be on second watch, followed by Kain relieved him sometime in the predawn hours. _Oh bother Cecil. I made it through one issue, and now it's back to you...or there's Kain…but I suppose I'd__ rather think about you...can't I ever just give my mind a rest_? _Nope, guess not!_

Listening to Rydia breathe into her pillow, Rosa used the quiet time to contemplate Cecil's earlier behavior. _Things were so much simpler before this quest…_She glanced again at Rydia, a pang of empathy touching her thoughts. _Then again, I guess it wasn't easy at first._ _Only the stars know just how confused I was that night. I still can't believe what I did; I can't believe I snuck into your room! I wanted to be with you, but I just didn't know how._

Her second Judgment Bolt of the evening hit her significantly harder than the first. _Oh Cecil, and here Rydia thinks she is the one who's off right now. I have been ten steps behind everyone all night...I am so sorry, my love. I think I understand..._

Noting a change in Rosa's breathing, Rydia pulled the pillow off of her head. It was suddenly her turn to be the best friend. "Rosa, is everything okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. I just, well, I…" She hesitated for a moment. "If it helps Rydia, sometimes I am as confused about my old feelings as you are about your new feelings. I meant it when I said none of this is terrible, but that doesn't mean everything about it makes immediate sense either."

'Well, you know he just walked by right? Even I know Cecil's shuffle. He certainly doesn't have the lithe step of a dragoon or the stealthy creep of a ninja. He does however have first watch. Go see him."

"I can't just go out there. It's improper, and I…"

"Rosa, here. Have an excuse. I'm thirsty, and as far as Cecil or anyone else knows, I am too sick to get out of bed. Now go and get me a drink of water." Rosa, not used to taking orders from Rydia, looked dumbfounded, so Rydia added with falsified innocence, "It's okay if you take too long to get back, though, because I am sick after all and drinking water will only distract me from my much needed rest."

Rosa picked up her pillow and tossed it playfully at her friend. "Rydia, you are too much!" She stood and moved toward the tent flap. "You know, around midnight, if you find I haven't returned with your water, I won't tell anyone if you step out to get some yourself." She barely reacted fast enough to catch the pillow Rydia launched at her head! "Good night pal! Maybe I'll see you when the watch changes."

On that mischievous note, Rosa stepped out of the tent, leaving Rydia to her newfound thoughts and decisions. Corner of her lip between her teeth and eyes open she cautiously approached the campfire where Cecil stood. "I um, I thought you might like some company," she said tentatively. His smile was all the assurance she needed. Without further hesitation Rosa closed the distance between them, and Cecil pressed his lips against hers faster than Edge could ninja-fy any monster!

_Who ever said this man wasn't stealthy?_ Rosa mused right before she absolutely melted into the kiss.


End file.
